Bayside Homestead

May 2021 Update

I started this blog / site with the aim of it being all about my adventures trying to be a bit more self sufficient but I quickly realised it’s going to be a “Bitza Blog” – bits of this and bits of that – because I don’t seem to be able to maintain focus on just one thing! My overall aim is still homesteading, semi self sufficiency, living slowly and more environmentally friendly though; so I might do these updates monthly so that I can track my progress – that could be a good idea to keep me heading in the right direction. So this is May 2021 update!

My garlic that I planted on the 1st April is doing well (I reckon the Glen Large is a bit ahead of the Italian Pink) and my Mini Amish Tomatoes are coming on nicely. The plants are taller than I am! I also have San Marzano tomato seedlings in because I’ve been told that Autumn/Winter is a good time to grow large tomatoes as it’s still warm enough here in Brisbane and there’s no (or less) fruit fly. I think I should probably have started them a little earlier (I sowed the seeds 14th April) so we’ll see how those go. I have some climbing beans growing (butter, green and purple) and I’m going to put in some snow peas and some daikon radish.

Other things happening around the garden… our curry leaf tree and birds eye chilli bush are both producing well as usual. A lot of the produce from these goes to waste as we tend to pick as we need, so this year I want to make sure I do something with them. I found a book at one of those pop up book stalls the other day that might help with ideas.

I was checking out my bee hotel earlier for signs of life and several of the holes and tunnels look like they have been used. I was just thinking that I hadn’t seen any actual insects when I saw one little bee buzzing around. 🙂

A few other photos – my growing coleus collection and a selection of other plants that I have propagated that are waiting for me to decide what to do with them 😉

Looking at the quality of my photos I think I need to start borrowing Mr T’s DSLR. My phone just does not do justice to the subjects I’m trying to capture.

In other news I’ve been enjoying my crochet again and I have several projects in mind – I just finished one the other day which was a blanket for my 5yo son’s BFF. I like the uneven boarders I put around the triangles, I think it gives the blanket a bit of an arty look.

My mental health seems to be benefitting from my slower pace of life and physical activities like crafting and gardening. I do need to pay a bit more attention to my physical health though as I’m feeling pretty achey and unfit. Time to get my walking habit going again and hopefully I’ll be running again soon. So next month’s update should have some progress on that!

Accepting myself as I am

I haven’t had much time lately for gardening with one thing or another. Actually that’s not true – it’s not a lack of time, it’s how I’ve been choosing to spend that time. One thing I struggle with is that when I decide to do something (like crochet a blanket) that’s all I want to do until it’s finished. I struggle to do several different things in a day, even if I enjoy all those things. For example, I’m trying to build up my walking habit again but even though I had several opportunities to go for a walk last week I didn’t go. Because I wanted to come home and finish the blanket I was crocheting. And I haven’t done much in the garden for the same reason – I just wanted to get that blanket done so my heart wasn’t in anything else. I’m not sure if this is a feature of Autism or ADHD – I have a feeling it might be down to the combination of those.

I was wondering why I find it hard to do more than one thing, because it’s something that I’ve frequently struggled with, and I think it’s down to a couple of things. One is that I’m worried that if I stop I might never pick it up again. Which might seem like a silly thing to think, but it has certainly happened. Sometimes I will find something else I want to do, and then it can be really hard to go back to the original thing I was doing, either because I get lost in the “something else”, or I forget that I was doing the first thing.

The other reason is that it can take me a while to get into the frame of mind to do A, and so switching to do B for a while and then going back to A is more mental gymnastics than I like. That happens a lot when I have my day planned out to do something and then someone says “hey lets do this!” Even when it’s something I would enjoy my first reaction is usually to panic and say no I can’t.

So I could approach this by berating myself and telling myself that I should be able to just do it, or I could accept that this is how I operate and figure out how to work with myself, rather than against myself. I haven’t got the solution worked out yet, but I know that I will now that I have defined the problem. It will probably involve notes, more realistic planning, and lots of self kindness. And smaller crochet projects 😉

I finished the blanket so now I can do some gardening tomorrow

Actually Autistic

I’ll start off by saying that this is obviously my experience, thoughts and feelings, and may not be relevant to any other autistic person. I do not speak for anyone else other than myself. Also it’s not an “official” diagnosis as I’m the wrong age/it’s not visible to others through my behaviour (good old masking), but other psychologist and psychiatrist agreed if I was still at school I would be diagnosed.

It took me a long time to look for a diagnosis but I had an inkling that I’m autistic for a pretty long time. I decided to go for a diagnosis for a couple of reasons. Firstly so that I could say for sure, and not keep questioning whether I was or not because even though I’d pretty much self-diagnosed myself I couldn’t accept that as “true”. Not because I was uncomfortable with the idea at all, but because I didn’t want to take up space that wasn’t mine. And secondly if I got a diagnosis then it might make things easier for my children if they are ever wondering about themselves.

My psychiatrist diagnosed my ADHD first and wasn’t really sure about my autism, I think that’s due to ADHD “covering” some autistic traits and just how good I am at masking. However there were a couple of things I said that stood out and confirmed the diagnosis. One was that I enjoyed school but I didn’t enjoy playtime because I didn’t know what to do, whereas the classroom was safe because I was told what to do. It was structured and I knew the rules.

The second thing was when I was talking to my psychologist about social situations and I mentioned I often find those uncomfortable and hard work. She was thinking that was social anxiety and suggested that we do some role play to make conversations easier, until I responded with “can’t I just not talk to people?” Apparently if it was social anxiety rather than autism I would want to talk to people and learn how.

The thing is I’m fine with structured conversations such as interactions with customers or when there is a specific topic/focus, and I’ll often talk to people I don’t know if I have something to say, so it’s not a fear of strangers. I’m just not good at “small talk” situations because it’s an effort for me to follow the rules of engagement and I inevitably do something wrong, or think I have and spend ages afterwards wondering what I did.

Now that I have a diagnosis I’m more confident about myself, and accepting of myself. Instead of berating myself for not being able to handle certain things, I can understand why and help myself to deal with it; or decide it’s in my best interest to avoid the situation and not feel guilty about it.

My ADHD

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

I have recently been diagnosed as having ADHD so I’m going to write about my experience with this. Please note, I can only talk about my experience of ADHD and how I am learning to deal with it. This may not apply to others with ADHD at all, especially as in my case it is combined with autism.

To be perfectly honest I was a bit unsure about the diagnosis because I had the common misconceptions that someone with ADHD can’t pay attention or concentrate at all on anything, and that the hyperactivity was physical as in constant movement, and those just didn’t seem to apply to me. It was when I started realising how often I have to work hard to concentrate (for example) on what someone is saying or keep my mind focused on a topic and not get sidetracked that it started to make sense; plus my brain is incredibly hyperactive and feels like it can’t sit still 😉

Once I accepted the diagnosis it was a huge relief because I realise now that there is nothing wrong with me. That might seem a contradiction in terms to some people, but ADHD isn’t “wrong” despite the words deficit and disorder being in there. It’s a difference, a neurodiversity, and it’s certainly not a deficit of attention, it’s the opposite really. My brain is trying to pay attention to everything at once so while I’m sitting here typing I am trying really hard not to listen to the dishwasher and the person shovelling gravel (or whatever) next door, the feeling of my shirt collar, socks, and about a thousand other things. Before I was diagnosed I would think to myself “argh why can’t I just focus, what is wrong with me???” and I would start to get anxious and worry about it. But now I know what is going on so I don’t worry. And if those thoughts start intruding too much (ie not just the background noise that I live with all the time) and I can’t focus on what I’m writing I’ll close the door, turn the dishwasher off, etc, and manage it. I actually think there’s a certain level of “background noise” that is helpful in that it engages part of my brain so the rest can focus on the task. I’m not sure, but if things are “too quiet” my brain seems to run off in all directions.

So now… to medicate or not to medicate, that is the question. Well it’s the question that I’ve been asked and I am reluctant to go that route. I am not “anti-medication” as I take an anti-anxiety/depression med and I am sure ADHD meds would help with my focus. However with the level of ADHD I have (or how I have already learned to manage) I do pretty well without medication. Part of me was wondering why I was so hesitant (I always want to know the why!) and a couple of things have come to mind. One is that I really like how my brain works – having ADHD means that I notice things in situations where other people might miss them, I like how my brain can jump swiftly from one thing to another, have a wide variety of things I find interesting and enjoyable, and it amuses me. So I don’t want to interfere with how it operates. And the other thing is that it’s really only when I am trying to fit into a neurotypical world that it becomes an issue. But I can change and adapt my part of the world and put in place the things that make it easier for me (and I realise that I am talking from a place of priveledge there). Things like coming up with routines, limiting decisions that need to be made, using notes and planners, setting alarms to remind me about things and not going into situations that are going to be totally overwhelming without some strategies in place. It seems a bit redundant to take meds for something that isn’t causing me issues, but if my ADHD does cause me hassles in the future I may change my mind. But that’s ok, I’m allowed to.

Establishing the Garden Beds

It didn’t take Mr T long to start the earthworks and put in some garden beds Photos from April 2014, about a month after we moved in.

Establishing the first of our garden beds.

The narrower garden bed in the last of the above photos ended up being redone to make it wider and so that we could walk behind it. And then we soon realised that 2 vegie/herb gardens was not enough and so Mr T got onto constructing a few more.

There’s been a few experiments along the way with things that haven’t quite worked how we wanted, but I guess that’s how you learn what you do want. Give things a go and then change and adapt until it’s just right! For example the garden bed pictured below no longer exists because although it was successful but a bit of an awkward position. There’s a shade house there now.

Another experiment that didn’t last (pictured below) was this cool section of a garden bed that Mr T constructed for growing potatoes. The idea was that it had a couple of removable sides so it made the potatoes easier to access. It actually worked really well but we decided that the harvest we got wasn’t really worth the garden bed space. I am going to try growing potatoes again, but use tater bags this time.

Pond Construction

Several years ago we lived in a rental that had a pond and it became a favourite place to sit and be still, or watch the fishies. We stocked it with guppies and it was like a rainbow dancing in the water. When we moved into our forever home we decided we’d like a pond again, so when we found a fibreglass pond shell in a garage sale we grabbed it and have held onto it until our youngest was old enough to be safe around a pond.

In August 2020 we decided it was time and so construction began!

And the result! It is such a lovely spot to sit, contemplate life and watch the fishies. Unfortunately it gets too cold for guppies (it’s a smaller pond I guess) but we have several comets and a school of white cloud minnows in there, plus some cherry shrimp. The slightly submerged rock on the right side is a stone ladder that we put in incase any creatures fall in and can’t get out.

The finished pond, with Nardoo and Waterlillies, surrounded by a couple of ferns, ornamental ginger.

And So It Begins….

2014 saw us move into our new forever home with a nice courtyard and a spacious, but pretty bare, backyard.

The above photos show the courtyard and garden how it was in 2014. Below are photos showing how it is now, in 2021. We removed the Calistemon because it looked untidy and was taking all the water that we wanted available for the vegie and herb gardens. And we removed the Lemon tree because it wasn’t doing much – the lemons tasted awful and it was struggling there. I have recently bought a lemon/lime (2 fruits on 1 tree) that I am keeping in a pot for now. (2022 update – I think it’s just lime tbh)

The little plaque says There are Fairies at the Bottom of our Garden 🙂

If you head over to Projects you can see how we got from then to now 🙂

About

I’m Rach, UK born living with husband (Mr T) and 4 children in Brisbane’s bayside suburb of Wynnum. I have wanted to try and live a more sustainable, slower, greener life for a while now. I remember as a child growing up having a big strawberry patch, eating peas straight off the vine, wandering around munching on a stick of rhubarb that I dipped in a pot of sugar, foraging for blackberries along the canal, and having a big hessian bag of homegrown potatoes in the shed. I also had to duck under wild caught rabbits hanging in the door of the shed, to get to the potatoes, but that’s another story…

When I was in uni I had dreams of possibly moving to the country and having a small patch of land on which to live as self sufficiently as possible. But I soon realised that I wanted to stay close to family, friends and I enjoyed being able to access the city or sea easily. And realistically, I’m not sure I’m cut out for that level of self reliance without the back up of shops at hand 😉

So this is my compromise! We have a large enough garden that we can grow quite a lot of produce if we want to, Wynnum is on the bay so I can easily duck down to the water front for my dose of sea gazing and people watching, and as we are just off the Gateway motorway so much of Brisbane and surrounds is easily accessible.

I have been recently diagnosed with ADHD and (highly suspected) ASD and I find that this slower paced life is great for my mental health. And the physical activities of being the in the garden, preserving, cooking and crafting certainly help to quieten an overactive brain. I am discovering more tips and tricks for managing in a neurotypical (NT) world and will no doubt post about those at some point. My diagnosis has made a huge difference to me.

My Bayside Homestead website has been created for a few reasons: to keep track of my adventures in this way of life and to help/encourage others that may want to take their own steps to growing and preserving food. I am still learning and I am in no way an expert gardener/grower, but I am finding lots of joy in the process for myself and I do love sharing what I have or know with my community. You can also follow me on Facebook and Instagram.

I also have an urban honesty stall – Kenmar Honesty Stall where I sell some of the many, many plants that I propagate. I put the smaller plants on my stall and then direct sell larger plants, indoor, and shade plants. Kenmar Honesty Stall can also be followed on Facebook and Instagram or if you are in the Wynnum – Manly area you can pop past and check it out.

I’m planning on doing some posts on my “early years”, for my own record and because it can be a bit cathartic.

School Years

Working Life