Bayside Homestead

School years

As always my experiences with neurodiversity (in particular ADHD and Autism) are mine and I don’t claim to speak for anyone else.

It’s no wonder that I didn’t get a diagnosis of ADHD/Autism when I was younger. I grew up in the age of “kids are to be seen and not heard” which in my head is translated to “adults don’t want to hear if you have an issue”. So I wouldn’t have spoken up about anything that was wrong. I remember being chatty in my first year(s) of school (ADHD), but once someone told me not to talk in class I became very, very quiet (Autism). It was agony if a classmate asked me a question because if I didn’t answer I was being rude, but if I did answer I was breaking the no talking rule. So I was able to fly under the radar and “get away” with being neurodiverse. My daughter is showing lots of neurodiverse traits (I don’t have a diagnosis for her) and I was wondering why she seems to be finding things much harder than I remember. I think some environmental things have an effect – my primary school was in an old building with big rooms, high ceilings, non-fluro lights, lots of air flow which is quite different to the situation my daughter is in. And I think there was less pressure on teachers to fit quite so much into the school year. So maybe if I was at school now I would be diagnosed earlier.

Anyway… moving on. When I was about 13 I decided what I wanted to do for a career. I wanted to be an engineer like my dad – I did Tech Drawing, Physics, Chemistry plus the other subjects I had to of course. The next year we migrated to Australia and I went to a school that didn’t do Tech Drawing and I didn’t get a high enough mark in general science (damn geology) to let me do physics or chemistry. So there went my dream of being an Engineer and I was left having no idea what to do. I was 14 and trying to navigate this new country and thinking of a new career goal was not really my top priority. Plus there were a few other subjects I wanted to do but because they didn’t line up on the timetable I wasn’t allowed to do them, so I mentally threw up my hands and said who cares! I was kinda good at computing so I ended up doing that at uni. And thankfully I was good enough at it to overcome my lack of interest 😉 Also thankfully uni had just enough structure that my ADHD was kept under control.

But then it was graduation and time to find a job. All the opportunities seemed to be pretty boring so I decided to stay at uni and do honours, and then I started a PhD. I did my honours in Artificial Intelligence and I really enjoyed that. There was still enough structure to keep me on track, but also flexibility in what I could do, and I ended up with first class honours. My PhD attempt didn’t go so great. It started off well, I had a good supervisor and I started to do some research with another professor (he was working with Nonmonotonic Logic). From the research work I ended up creating a programming language and presenting a paper at AI’92 in Hobart. That was fun. Unfortunately my PhD wasn’t so successful as there was too little structure for me to keep on track, plus my supervisor left after the first year and passed me other to another one that wanted me to do a completely different project. Of course I thought he knows best and went down that track only to find 2 years later that it was completely the wrong track. 🤦‍♀️ Withdrawing from my PhD was a hard decision to make; I was just descending into depression and my self confidence was taking a huge knock but I was also embarrassed to admit I couldn’t do it. I was starting to really loath computers as well and decided I never wanted to work with them again! (It was all very dramatic 😉)

From then to now (age 51) it’s been a really long road of studying different things, having many different jobs, and trying to figure out what I want to do for work. Turns out nothing has really stuck, but I’ll do another post about that sometime. I don’t have any regrets because I am happy where I have ended up, and even if I had been diagnosed earlier, not migrated to Australia, or gone a different direction at any of the “sliding doors” moments, who knows how things would have turned out.

Getting Ready for Spring 2021

It is the beginning of August and apart from the slightly icy winds it feels like spring is on it’s way. So Mr T and I have been busy tidying up the garden beds.

This bed had some beans on a tripod that I have removed – for some reason I never used them there, maybe it was an awkward position for me to access but also I was growing beans that I wasn’t actually that fond of! There is a broad bean plant that I have left as it hasn’t produced any beans as yet. I also left the broccolini that’s gone to flower as the bees seemed to be enjoying it. I have some pak choy and daikon to put in here, and I have some rocket seeds on their way to put in here as well. The bottom half of the bed has our perpetual spinach, rocket, and spring onions.

The bottom half of this bed had my Mini Amish tomatoes in it. I removed them and Mr T rejuvenated the soil with some mushroom compost and our compost. I’m going to put my beans in here (ones that we will actually eat), and I have some other seedlings that have just started sprouting that will go in here too. Beetroot, artichoke, capsicum. We plan to grow some lettuce as well, I’m thinking under the beans might be a good spot.

The top half of the bed has some San Marzano tomatoes in it that I was actually hoping to grow over winter but I really should have started them off in a greenhouse (lesson for next year). There’s also some carrots around the edge, and a capsicum on the right side, about half way down the bed.

This is our (mainly) herb bed – it was badly overgrown with weeds so Mr T dug out some of the herbs, got rid of the weeds and rejuvenated the soil. It’s now replanted with Thai chili, Jalopeno chili, Cayenne chili, red basil, thyme, oregano, dill, taragon, and chives. I’ve put a trellis at the far end and am going to grow snow peas on it, and the top right corner will probably get some carrots put in there. The bottom left is a curry tree.

July 2021 Update

I was going to leave doing the update until next week since it’s the last week in July. But I can guarantee if I do that I will forget or not have time. One big thing that I have done since last month is I applied for and ABN and registered Bayside Homestead as my business name! I figured the start of the new financial year was a good time to do it! So that’s exciting, although I know that as I get overwhelmed easily (thank you ADHD) I need to take things slowly. I have a lot on my plate with 4 kids and 3 of them in pretty significant years (Prep, Grade 10 and Grade 12). Plus the whole Covid situation is enough to make me want to hibernate for a year or so. I know that here in Queensland we are pretty lucky, but the situation in NSW and Victoria shows how quickly things can change. My heart goes out to everyone dealing with lockdowns, semi-lockdowns, confusion of whether you are actually locked down or not, or whatever the situation is where you are.

So on to happier news! These are a few of the things in my garden that are bringing me joy at the moment:

We have been in this house for about 6 years and inherited the King Orchid with the house. This is the first time I have seen it flower! The Leptospermum (Tea Tree) has come back after looking like it was about to die off – that always makes me happy. I love the look of Tea Trees, they are one of my favourite native plants. And I just find Paper Daisies fascinating. The Rose and the two Azaleas bring a smile to my face because they are some of the most neglected plants ever. I have never been a Rose grower and I was under the impression that Azaleas were a lot of work so wasn’t much interested in those either. But they all just keep on keeping on and rewarding my neglect with beautiful flowers! There’s actually a Magnolia tree behind the Rose and again, so neglected but produces stunning flowers! The Birds Nest Fern had to be included because I picked up this plant from a local gardener and it wasn’t in the best shape. I pruned off the dead fronds, repotted it and have been giving it a bit of TLC. I actually thought I’d lost it but just as I was about to give up I saw the tiniest of green fronds starting to poke through!

Tomato news: my Mini Amish tomatoes are ready to be pulled out. They have done me well and I will definitely grow them again. I’m trying to remember when I planted them but of course I forgot to take notes. 🙄 I think it was in late Feb / March. My San Marzano which I intended to grow over winter are still tiny. The ones that I started off in the greenhouse have done better so I will remember that for next year, and also get them started earlier. I would really like to grow tomatoes all year round and it should be possible if I get my timings right! The pot of seedlings shown above are going to be donated to a local school for their gardening club 🙂 I have a couple of pots of these and some other vegetables/herbs/seeds they might like.

Elsewhere around the garden – my asparagus bed is finally dormant so I was able to compost and mulch it. The herb bed is in bad need of a good weeding. I’m probably actually going to dig out some of the plants so I can get rid of the weeds a bit more easily, dig in some compost, replant and mulch. My garlic looks really good so I am keeping my fingers crossed that I get a good harvest! I have read that a good tip is to carefully move the soil from one of the plants when you think they are ready for harvest so you can inspect the bulb. If the 6 month growing season holds true they won’t be ready for another couple of months, but I’m keeping an eye on them as I’ve heard it doesn’t always work that way.

I’ve still been crocheting away, I’m working on another blanket at the moment. This one is for me as my kids/Mr T keep taking my others for themselves! Oh and Milo has finally decided to use the cat bed that I made him. Apparently I needed to turn it over so the black was on top.

So that’s the update for this month! I think that’s it – it’s been a bit of a hectic month. Oh one thing I did at the end of last month that is worth mentioning – I made jam! I’ve never made jam before but I found a simple recipe and figured I should give it a go. I made Strawberry and Passionfruit jam and it is rather delicious if I do say so myself! 😉

Homemade Strawberry and Passionfruit jam.

Aroreretini

I came across this word on Facebook – it’s a new Maori word for ADHD and I love it. The translation is “attention goes to many things”. No mention of disorder, no mention of deficit. I feel like it describes how my mind works much better and it’s more empowering to me than ADHD. I’ll probably use both terms but I definitely like the Maori term better.

I am still learning how aroreretini affects me and how to work with myself, rather than trying to “just focus” and fight with myself. I’m learning why I can be so, so passionate about a new hobby for a while and then later think it’s the last thing on earth I want to do. That’s something about myself I couldn’t understand but now I know it’s my brain wanting to find shiny, new things to occupy itself and at a later date I will most likely go back to that hobby with renewed interest and vigour.

I am learning that after I clean my desk I can keep it clean for a short period of time until either the routine of dealing with bits of paper, etc, immediately becomes boring so everything builds up; or the number of things I need to keep in sight so I don’t forget about them becomes too much and I have piles of stuff everywhere. Knowing why I let it get messy again stops me from beating myself up about it and “giving up”.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned lately is to do with how emotional regulation is affected. I’ve always been someone that feels my emotions in a big way and I did not realise that this was tied to ADHD/Aroreretini. Knowing that actually makes me more comfortable with the diagnosis because even though I *know* that all the executive functioning stuff is harder there is still that part of me that thinks maybe I’m just making an excuse for myself (and I’m so clever that I can trick the psychologist into giving me a diagnosis 🙄). But the emotional stuff? That’s the clincher for me. That’s something that has always been a part of me and yeah, feeling sad in a big way isn’t much fun, but it’s awesome when I am happy about something 😂😁

Kenmar Honesty Stall

At the beginning of June 2021 I started to set up a little honesty stall at the front of the house. I’d been planning on doing it for ages so that I can offer my plants to others more easily, but kept procrastinating for one reason or another. Maybe thinking it had to be “perfect” before I can start it. And then one day I got sick of stalling, bit the bullet and got it done. It’s not the best looking stall around, and I’d like to have a bit more room eventually, but it is a start.

The idea behind creating my stall was so that I can offer my newly propagated plants and seedlings a bit more easily than trying to list them one by one. A rather wonderful but unexpected side effect has been meeting so many lovely people from the local community, fellow gardeners that I have met or people that have seen me out and about and told me that they love the idea of my stall. 😊

The plants on my stall are those that I’m happy to sell for $2 – $5, or $1 for seedlings/small plants. I will keep selling larger plants from time to time but will do that by direct sales and through a collaborative Facebook page set up by myself and a couple of friends called Green Bums. Follow my stall’s Instagram or Facebook pages on the links below.

I’m also going to add some of our excess produce from time to time. I figure we grow more than we can use, even with preserving some, so why not share it around! With the produce I’m happy for people to take what they want for free, name their own price, or leave something to swap. Actually I’m happy to do swaps for the plants as well but I do get an inordinate amount of excitement when I open up the cash box and there’s a few dollars in there! 😂

I’m going to attempt to restock it each week, depending on what I have available, and update my Kenmar Honesty Stall social media pages with what is there. So if you live in the Wynnum/Manly area and are interested you can follow on Instagram or Facebook (or both 😉)

I have plans to add more to the stall in the future so if there’s anything you think would be a good addition let me know 🙂

Freezing Vegetables

For quite a while I thought the only vegetables that stood up to freezing were peas and corn, but I have found it’s quite a good way to quickly and easily preserve lots of different things. So now I have lots of whole tomatoes, sticks of celery, birds eye chilis, red and green capsicum, edamame, zucchini and eggplant in my freezer. I’ve found if you flash freeze things (spread them on a tray and into the freezer) then you can easily pop them into a resealable container and get just the amount you need. I use a piece of reusable baking paper so there is no sticking to the tray.

Tomatoes: If I don’t have enough tomatoes to make a relish or passata, or not enough time to make those, I will just chuck the tomatoes whole into the freezer. One of the benefits of making a passata with tomatoes from the freezer is that they are already quite broken down and easy to run through the mill. I’ll be making some more soon so I’ll take photos and record the process. 🙂 I also use the tomatoes from the freezer to chuck into stews or tray bakes. Obviously they wouldn’t hold up to being used raw but if they are being cooked anyway then there’s no problem! The downside to freezing whole tomatoes is that they do take up a lot of freezer space, so for me it’s a temporary preserving solution.

Freezing is also a great way to store dried tomatoes so next time I make some of my semi-dried tomatoes I will make extra.

Celery: We have not successfully grown celery in the garden as yet 😦 so the celery that ends up in the freezer is what we have bought and not been able to use before it would normally be destined for the compost. We don’t eat it raw – it gets used in mirepoix, stock or stirfries – so no issues with it being frozen. I don’t do anything to it before putting it in the freezer except cutting off the ends that don’t get used.

Chilis: Just flash frozen whole and then into a container in the freezer. They are waiting for me to think of what to use them for 😂

Capsicum: I’ve managed to grow capsicum this season after a year or so of failure. I swear I used to grow it easily. Anyway – none have ripened fully without getting hit by rot so I’ve been harvesting them green. And buying red ones when on special. I cut the core out, remove the seeds and slice the sides off. I try and leave the slices as large as possible. Again since we don’t use capsicum raw it is absolutely fine from the freezer.

Edamame: I grew soybeans for the first time last year and froze the beans. I totally forgot that the pods were edible so I shelled them 🙄, then if I recall correctly I boiled them for 4 mins before flash freezing. As with many fresh beans they need cooking otherwise they are toxic.

Zucchini: I really wasn’t sure about being able to freeze zucchini as I thought it would be way to watery but someone mentioned that they do so I figured why not give it a go! I mostly use grated zucchini (in bolognese, rissoles, sausage rolls, etc) so I grated some up and froze it in the quantities that I use it. I found that my silicone muffin tray held about 1 small zucchini’s worth. I didn’t bother squeezing the moisture out before freezing because it tends to get fried off a bit before being added to the recipe. If I was going to use it in something like a zucchini slice I probably would try and remove some of the moisture.

Eggplant: Again I wasn’t sure about freezing eggplant but since the zucchini worked so well I thought I may as well try it! I sliced the eggplant, blanched it in water with a bit of lemon juice, into an ice bath to stop the cooking, and then flash froze it before popping it into a ziplock bag. I grabbed a few slices out the other day to add into the pot roast I was cooking. Because the slices were frozen I broke them into smaller pieces and dropped them into the liquid. They completely dissolved into the sauce and just added a lovely extra bit of flavour.

I will add to this post as I learn more about freezing the things we grow.

June 2021 Update

Well I am exhausted after a week of dealing with a sick little boy, advocating for my daughter at school, connecting with local gardeners, and trying to get an honesty stall up and running because otherwise my plant babies will never find homes!

I posted on Instagram the other day about some of the things in the garden that were making me happy, because I needed to stop and take notice for a few minutes. I’m slowly learning to take a time out for myself. It’s only taken 50 years but a regular dose of mindfulness does wonders. I’ve tried to set up meditation habits to get that mindfulness, but sitting and meditating is particularly hard when you are trying to coral an ADHD mind. Moving meditation like wandering around the garden or going for a walk is much easier.

I’ve been enjoying getting cuttings from a few local gardeners, expanding my plant collection and stopping to have a chat with people in the community.

So what is happening in the garden? The garlic is doing great; I still have one zucchini that is producing well and I want to sow a couple more seeds. We don’t really need more than two on the go at a time. I planted some seed potatoes yesterday or the day before so it will be interesting to see how they go. The plan is to get the hang of staggering the planting of some things for a continual harvest rather than getting it all at once. The Mini Amish tomatoes have lots of fruit, but my larger San Marzano are not moving at all. I think I sowed them too late in the season. I might try sowing some more seeds and put them in my little greenhouse.

The asparagus has finally slowed down. I had cut it down last month – mainly because I was worried about snakes and it just wasn’t dying off. However I’ve now discovered that if I break the stems the plant will take back the energy and the fronds will die off. So next year I will do that!

The rest of the garden is ticking along fine, the chili could do with another prune and the rosemary is struggling a bit because we got a lot of rain last month but it seems to be coming back.

And I did manage to get my honesty stall going – it’s not the most elegant stall set up I’ve seen but it’s a start. I’m planning (with Mr T’s help) to improve on the design over the coming months. I’m keen to see if I can share some of our excess harvest through the stall as well – we tend to grow way more than we need.

Oh and I discovered my neighbour works in a landscape nursery so I managed to score some Pothos that were being thrown out 😁 I keep wanting to call it Porthos but I think that was one of the Three Musketeers 😂

Pothos waiting to be potted up and maybe trimmed a bit

Craft wise I’ve been doing a bit of this, a bit of that, learning how to make produce bags and I made another bag/basket for my yarn stash. I mentioned last month I was hoping to get walking or running again, and I have made a start but there’s not been much progress because of my littlest boy being sick. It is absolutely stunning down at the waterfront at the moment though.

Autism, ADHD and the Environment

I read a thing today that came across my Facebook newsfeed. It was a series of people responding to the statement that if autism isn’t caused by environmental factors how come we didn’t see it in the past. The responses centred around how autistic people were obviously there but not identified; because when the world was quieter (less electrical noise, less bright lights, less crowded) autism is less noticeable. And I think for myself that is certainly true. Diversities like autism often only become diagnosed when they become disruptive to life, such as children finding school or the classroom overwhelming, or in my case difficulties in managing work.

I’d say my ADHD is the same as well – when there is less going on in the immediate environment it is far easier for me to focus on whatever task I have. I need a certain amount going on (just enough to keep some of my brain in check so it doesn’t wander off) but then if one extra thing happens it’s game over. My psychologist has sometimes asked if I can notice things like the feeling of fabric on my skin, the tags on clothes, etc. And I usually don’t, until one extra thing is added, like someone interrupting, and then I notice everything. All the sensations, all the noise, all the light, all the thoughts, all at once. I’ll often be shopping in the supermarket and going along quite fine, and then something happens and I start to notice *everything* and suddenly I feel a bit panicky and want to run out of there.

So part of managing my autism and ADHD is managing my environment. It’s a work in progress but I’ve made a few positive changes, like going shopping at a quieter time when possible, giving myself extra time in the mornings for getting ready for the day, and spending a few moments in the garden just to decompress.

Realisation, Reflection, and Running

I came to a bit of a realisation today.

I think I mentioned in another post that I have difficulty with being able to do multiple things in the one day. Like going for a run, shopping, housework and other jobs in the time I have allocated. For many people this wouldn’t be an issue and they’d just get it done without much drama. But for me, I think about this list of things I’m supposed to do today, and I’m filled with dread. I thought it was to do with time management (and there is certainly a part that is) but I think mostly it’s because while I could do all those things I would have to be rushing around to fit it all in. And that’s what I used to do. I thought that was an achievement. Look at how much I can fit into my day! After all I grew up always being asked what I was going to do, like you always have to be “doing” something. Society admires the go-getters and high achievers.

Now I’m trying to do things a bit differently. I much prefer having a bit of extra time and go more slowly. When I’m rushing I can feel the anxiety coming on, which then makes it almost a self fulfilling prophecy that things will take longer because I get overwhelmed by a million thoughts rushing at me.

I was talking to someone recently about wanting to be able to go for a run in the morning and then come home and make lunches, get the kids ready and do the school run. And in theory it sounds great and I know that’s what works best for many people, getting out for a run before tackling the rest of the day. But even though part of me would like to do that, if I’m honest I don’t think that is the best thing for me. I like having a slow adjustment from sleeping to getting ready for the day, and having “white space” around the time I need to do lunches, etc. I can get everyone ready without spending the first part of the day under pressure. Also after I go for a run I like to have a bit of time to switch off from the running mindset, reflect about the run a bit and hold on to the “after run” glow. (oh, I just had a thought… a morning run on the weekend would work as I don’t have to get people ready. Good idea)

I am working on not feeling guilty for choosing to go slow, because I know what happens when I do take on too much and feel pressured to be on the go all the time. Anxiety, depression, mental breakdown. I am choosing not to go down that path again and choosing the things that will support my mental health.

Learning to Can It

Last year (2020) I decided to give canning a try. I was annoyed at the fact we were wasting so much good produce because we couldn’t use it or give it away fast enough.

So I toddled off to Big W and got myself a Ball Canning Kit and some smaller Ball jars. I know lots of people reuse old jars which is awesome, but I’ve also heard that they can sometimes shatter and knowing my luck that’s what would happen to me! Plus I like the look of the “proper” jars 😉 If I look after them they should last a long time so I was happy to purchase them new.

Next step was deciding what to try first and the obvious thing was something with tomatoes as we had a gazillion cherry tomatoes. I found a couple of recipes that sounded good (and easy) to try and away I went. I did have a few mishaps (mainly figuring out the best way to get the jars in and out of the waterbath) but overall I would say it was a success!

Canning is quite a satisfying process as well as getting yummy results.

We ate/gave away most of those jars soon after I made them but I found a couple still in the cupboard this morning so opened one for my breakfast and it went very nicely with my ham and eggs.

I bought some reusable lids for the jars to make them easier to store once opened – and because they look cute

These are the recipes I used:
https://www.bhg.com/recipe/balsamic-cherry-tomato-caramelized-onion-conserve/ and https://eatlittlebird.com/cherry-tomato-relish/

The cherry tomato relish didn’t have specific instructions for canning so I compared it with other recipes in my preserving book to make sure it was going to be ok for waterbath canning.