Ok 2023, what have you got in store for us? A friend posted something today that made a lot of sense. She said how often people will look at the year j
I started writing that on Jan 2nd, it’s now April 2nd. I was going to delete it but honestly it sums up how the beginning of this year has gone for me. At the beginning, kinda chipper and knew what I was doing and then bam! I got knocked off my feet somehow mid thought. Sideswiped by a semi.
I feel like the last 3 months have been a year in themselves. Towards the end of March I had that complete exhaustion/burned out feeling that I don’t usually get until Nov. There were several reasons I think. Firstly my office job went from something I really enjoyed to me having anxiety about going, and there was all the feelings about that – being disappointed in myself, being angry about certain things, thinking maybe I should just push through and do the minimum required. That last one won’t ever happen – if I have a job then I always do it to the best of my ability. But there were aspects of the job that I just couldn’t do, so it was better that they find someone that could. And better for me to quit before the oncoming mental/physical breakdown actually happened.
Another reason I needed to quit. My kids still need me in the mornings at drop off. And I need to have the time and brain space to make sure that they are getting what they need to be in a good place at school, and get what they need to thrive in what I see as a failing education system. Let me be clear – the teachers are not failing, the school management staff are not failing, the school admin staff are not failing. All staff at my kids school are wonderful, and for the most part I love the teachers they have. Special shout out to the deputy principal and principal for being so caring and approachable and listening to my concerns, ideas. They are amazing. And so are the admin staff that know my kids well enough to ring me when my daughter hadn’t handed in the form to do yoga for inter-school sport, but they know she would have wanted to do that. But they are working within an educational framework that is broken and suited to the world (or rather our society) how it was probably several decades ago. Not how it is now.
And finally – and possibly most importantly – I was missing the life I’d started to create. The slower pace life with time to garden, cook, tend to my honesty stall and other hobbies. Time to write here, time to go for a walk and sit and stare at the ocean, time to go have coffee with my mum.
So hopefully it won’t be 3 months until my next post! 🙂
Bayside Homestead 