Working life

As always my experiences with neurodiversity (in particular ADHD and Autism) are mine and I don’t claim to speak for anyone else.

I really had no idea what I wanted to do when I left school, but I was pretty good with computers so I went to uni and did that. I graduated and still didn’t really know what I wanted to do so decided to do Honours and then started a PhD. The PhD was a big fail due to a few reasons but basically I decided I never wanted to work with computers again (that didn’t last 😂).

I took a bit of time off to try and figure out what I did want to do and got into gardening. I decided that doing a Certificate of Horticulture would be a good idea since I seemed to enjoy gardening. I worked in a plant nursery for a while and then another horticulturist friend and I set up a gardening business. That was fun for a while but it always amused me when people would say “oh what a lovely job for 2 girls” as we’d just finished moving a ton of mulch, pruned some rather large shrubs and generally worked up a right sweat. What did they think? We just went around picking flowers or something? Anyway, the novelty of that wore off and I decided that it was too much hard work (and in the hot sun) for too little pay and I should go back to computing. My husband at the time had other ideas and we ended up in Denver for 3 years and I wasn’t allowed to work. That was 2000 and was a fun adventure … stories for another time.

When we got back in 2003 I was pregnant with my first son and as I wanted to be a stay-at-home mum thoughts of work went on the back burner. As it turns out when he was about a couple of years old I started an online retail business selling cloth nappies and various other baby goods. That was a lot of fun, I loved helping out other mums understand modern cloth nappies. MCN were new to Australia at that time, and the only ones available were made by other stay-at-home mums, so it was awesome to be supporting each other and I made some good friends through doing that. I continued with my online business until a little while after I separated from my first husband. It was a bit hard continuing while a single mum but also I felt the need to earn a more steady income as I had 2 sons by that time.

So I ended up working in a tobacconist and gift shop. I have never smoked in my life so it was a little bizarre, but I did enjoy working there. Maybe because when customers are buying their smokes they are always happy when you pass them over 😉 I really enjoyed the customer interactions, getting to know the regulars, and helping people find the right gift for whatever the occasion was.

But I was a casual and I started thinking about trying to earn a full time income so I could actually get somewhere financially. I got a job with a health insurer, which I thought would be good because it’s helping people, which I love doing. I made sure that the interviewers understood that I had primary age kids so I needed to be able to leave at a certain time, etc. Unfortunately that job didn’t last long because when you have ADHD it can be really hard to focus and remember what people say; and when you are trying to explain health insurance to someone you need to be able to remember what their situation is. Of course at the time I didn’t realise I had ADHD, I just figured I sucked at remembering stuff. Also I was always in a rush – rush to drop kids at school, then get the train and get to work on time, and remind everyone I have to leave right on time so couldn’t help close up the shop (that doesn’t go down too well) and then rush to catch the train and get back to afterschool care before that closes. And then rush to get dinner, etc, etc. Way too much pressure for me.

Fortunately at the same time an IT consulting company decided to offer me a job where I could work from home, flexible hours, etc. That sounded great! And it was…. for a little while. But then there were the trips away to work on location – thankfully I had a new partner (Mr T) by this time so I was able to be away from the kids while he parented them. Also one of the features of ADHD is that once you get into the swing of things you don’t want to stop – or at least that is how it is for me. I would end up starting to work and then getting annoyed if the kids interrupted me, I didn’t want to stop to make dinner or do the bedtime routine, etc. I think it’s because I know that if I stop then it will take so much effort to get going again but I didn’t know at the time I had ADHD, I just thought I was really bad at separating work from home. So not an ideal situation in the long term at all.

Now that Mr T was around and we could live with me having a part time income, I decided to go back to the tobacconist and gift shop. That was good for a while but unfortunately, for whatever reason, I had a rather public breakdown in the middle of the shop. In hindsight I think it was an Autistic shutdown. Various stressful things were going on at the time and it was like my brain just went – nope, not working anymore. Thankfully I was with a very kind person that had some experience with anxiety and he helped to talk me through it enough for me to drive home. I remember standing at home and just really not knowing what to do. Go inside? Stay outside? Lie down? It was pretty scary. Luckily for me Mr T was at home and took care of me. A few weeks after that I discovered I was pregnant with my third child (born 2012) and three years later had my fourth (born 2016).

Once my youngest was in kindy I started thinking again about work. I tried to think of something that I was going to be able to do during school hours, holidays off, and involved helping people. I decided that Teacher Aide might fit the bill pretty well. So I did a certificate, and then a diploma. As part of the study you do 100 placement hours. I absolutely loved doing things like prepping resources for the classroom, helping the teacher, working with the kids and helping them in one-on-one situations. However, again having ADHD meant that it was really hard for me to remember instructions from the teacher and relay them to the kids, and of course it was noisy and hot in the classrooms which was not great with my sensory issues.

So what were the employment alternatives? Honestly I was struggling to think of anything. Nothing seemed to be a great fit for my choices when it comes to parenting, or for someone with unmedicated ADHD. I applied for some retail jobs that said flexible hours, but what they really meant was flexible for the employer – you had to be available all hours. But I really like having the time to walk my little kids into school in the morning and chat with the teachers if it’s needed. I like having a morning that isn’t rushed – well apart from the 15 mins before we leave to go to school, that always seems rushed no matter how organised I am! And I like picking them up straight from school in the afternoons, and checking if they are ok and again being able to chat to the teacher.

And then a friend offered me some work doing some admin for her in her small business. And I loved it. I was helping her concentrate on her actual work, rather than the boring admin tasks; it was work that I could do easily and when I chose rather than having to be at a particular place at a particular time; it didn’t require any “special clothes” and because it’s all done online I can work from wherever I want to. I don’t have to be in a brightly lit, noisy office – perfect for someone that has sensory issues! I’m not sure I’d heard the term Virtual Assistant before that job, but it is just about the perfect job for me.

There was a bit of a period at the end of 2020, start of 2021, where my VA work was scarce so I started selling plants. Propagating plants is a hobby of mine, and our yard was starting to get a bit crowded so I started my honesty stall around June 2021. I am rather happy with the progress of my stall. It has been a great success – more successful than I expected really. It allows me to contribute a little financially but mostly it has provided a lovely connection to community, both local and across Australia through my Facebook and Instagram pages/accounts. I am very grateful for the support I have received ❤ My plant sales (and a few craft sales) plus my VA work allows me to earn a living in a way that supports my neurodiversity rather than having to fight it. I feel very lucky to have found these opportunities at last.

——-

An extra word about medications – I do not take medications for my ADHD. I am in no way anti-medication, I take meds for other things, I just prefer to see if I can manage my hyperactive brain with other methods first by working with, rather than fighting against, myself.