Aroreretini

I came across this word on Facebook – it’s a new Maori word for ADHD and I love it. The translation is “attention goes to many things”. No mention of disorder, no mention of deficit. I feel like it describes how my mind works much better and it’s more empowering to me than ADHD. I’ll probably use both terms but I definitely like the Maori term better.

I am still learning how aroreretini affects me and how to work with myself, rather than trying to “just focus” and fight with myself. I’m learning why I can be so, so passionate about a new hobby for a while and then later think it’s the last thing on earth I want to do. That’s something about myself I couldn’t understand but now I know it’s my brain wanting to find shiny, new things to occupy itself and at a later date I will most likely go back to that hobby with renewed interest and vigour.

I am learning that after I clean my desk I can keep it clean for a short period of time until either the routine of dealing with bits of paper, etc, immediately becomes boring so everything builds up; or the number of things I need to keep in sight so I don’t forget about them becomes too much and I have piles of stuff everywhere. Knowing why I let it get messy again stops me from beating myself up about it and “giving up”.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned lately is to do with how emotional regulation is affected. I’ve always been someone that feels my emotions in a big way and I did not realise that this was tied to ADHD/Aroreretini. Knowing that actually makes me more comfortable with the diagnosis because even though I *know* that all the executive functioning stuff is harder there is still that part of me that thinks maybe I’m just making an excuse for myself (and I’m so clever that I can trick the psychologist into giving me a diagnosis 🙄). But the emotional stuff? That’s the clincher for me. That’s something that has always been a part of me and yeah, feeling sad in a big way isn’t much fun, but it’s awesome when I am happy about something 😂😁